Gone but not forgotten.
by Tyler Hicks
Vine, 3, died suddenly Thursday, October 27, 2016 after being mercilessly and unceremoniously axed by Twitter.
Vine was born in June 2012 and acquired by its overlord and eventual murderer Twitter four months later. It lived a hard, fast and beautiful life as one of the premier video apps, during which time it gave us such gems as the “What are those?” craze and “Ryan Gosling refusing to eat cereal.”
Though many an Internet star, including King Bach and DeStorm, launched their careers on Vine, many ungrateful social celebs became Vine turncoats, leaving the app for the next big thing whenever it came along, and then doing the same to another poor, helpless platform.
While Vine was in the Top 5 most popular entertainment apps as recently as 2015, services like Snapchat and a revamped Instagram knocked it down the Top 20 trenches amidst dreadful apps like Solo Selfie — seriously, is there a Solo Selfie obituary yet?
But perhaps no one deserves more blame for this young, innocent soul’s untimely demise than us, the Twitter addicts who gleefully watched the “iridocyclitis kid” Vine for hours on end, yet never signed up for an account.
Maybe we were intimated. After all, there are no “Facebook stars” and comparatively few “Instagram celebs,” and minus a few exceptions here and there, the only people who are famous on Twitter are the people who are also famous “IRL.” It’s only natural to avoid situations where failure or disappointment seem imminent, and when you know you won’t be the next King Bach, why waste your time signing up for Vine at all?
This unfortunate passing shows us that even though social media is thriving and will continue to do so forever, there is still an elusive, hard-to-pin-down formula for success that Vine was never able to fully grasp.
Maybe Twitter is not the only one to blame. Maybe the one thing that kept Vine alive — its lovable, video-machine celebrities — is the same thing that ultimately killed it.
But I digress (and seamlessly return to classic obituary form).
Contributions in memory of Vine can be made by adding to the growing library of “My favorite Vine” posts on Twitter.
There will be no funeral arrangements, just a gaping hole in our Internet until the next Vine comes along.
Oh hey, ever heard of Beme?